I really really love Sarah’s new blog, and this is a post that resonates with me and feels so comforting and relieving. Excerpt,
Would I ever tell a person who has been through a certain trauma at the hands of another that they need to forgive that person? No, I would never do that. Forgiveness can have it’s place, but many people hastily forgive because they think that is what has to be done in order to be “healed,” and to “move on.” What they find is they tell someone they forgive them, and then somewhere down the line they get triggered, and angry, and hurt – and instead of allowing themselves to feel the genuine emotions, they feel guilt and internalize a deep sense of shame because they “should forgive” but just can’t seem to do it. This does not aid in actual healing at all, it just becomes another emotional hurdle to work through and try to gain understanding of.
It’s ok to be angry about what was done to us. It is ok to walk in that anger and feel it. It doesn’t mean we are bad people, or somehow doing something wrong in our “path to healing.”
Anger is part of the process, and we deserve to be angry! It is our right to blame those who have hurt us and violated our emotional and physical well being!
What is not ok is when we get pressured into forgiving when we are not ready, and possibly not even able to.
For years this was all I needed to hear.