…Remember that time I was wrong?

This happens very, very occasionally–so I’m going to indulge in the moment. ;)
There’s something I didn’t mention in my entry about Muslim women marrying Christian and Jewish men, and that is that the particular man of whom I was speaking had expressed consideration to convert to Islam. Of course, I didn’t take it seriously. Without my influence, he already carried the basic belief that Jesus was only Prophet–but his tentative willingness to actually convert, however, I had chalked up to having nothing to do with Islam and everything to do with me. I fully and completely believe that converts are just as strong, knowledgeable, responsible, and important as those who have been Muslims their whole lives. This is a fact. There isn’t a difference.
But I’d always been firm about not marrying a man, if marrying at all, who converted after he met me. I want to play no part in even indirectly pressuring people to convert, in any way at all. I wanted to be sure he converted for the right reasons–for his love of God, and not for me. I was wary of whether he would stay true to the practices of Islam after the wedding if they weren’t for the right reasons.
It’s something that everyone kind of automatically looks out for without question. It’s been known to happen.
I had a conversation with a friend, shortly after that post, who said something along the lines of, “It’s not your business. His reasons are between him and God. Who are you to judge what’s in his heart? He is not to be scrutinized after his conversion.” Every Muslim, is Muslim.
I felt like someone had poured a bucket of water over me. Warm water, because it was awesome. I felt somehow lighter.

8 thoughts on “…Remember that time I was wrong?

  1. Yeah, I know.You know, there's this frantic scrawl in the Muslim community to marry people off as soon as possible in order to prevent sin. I was telling a woman that I wasn't ready yet and she said, "You can study while you're married! What if you lose your way? What if you commit fornication!"Come on! I'm 20 and I've managed not to do it. Marrying before you're ready is always a bad idea. I understand the push but I wish people would accept that not everyone NEEDS it. We should be able to set the pace of our own lives.

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  2. Someone was saying just a week ago that kids should be married off at 14-15 to prevent pre-marital sex!It's OUTRAGEOUS. A marriage is an entire lifetime! If you marry them before they're stable what if they develop into incompatible people? And even besides that… I don't see how they can be happy.In Islam you aren't supposed to marry two people together unless it's their choice. How can you do it when they're too young to make the decision for themselves? You're deciding for them.

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  3. My husband-to-be (inchallah) is a convert.That is… if my dad decides to acknowledge him XD"I fully and completely believe that converts are just as strong, knowledgeable, responsible, and important as those who have been Muslims their whole lives. This is a fact. There isn't a difference."Thank you. But even stronger in many cases. Because they choose it. It is not just dropped on their heads by birth like the rest of us. "But I'd always been firm about not marrying a man, if marrying at all, who converted after he met me." I think if a girl is sincere in refusing him if he is only converting for her; she will be able to read the signs that his conversion is solely for her. In my case, I was a tool that reignited a search he had long since forgotten. The funny thing is, whenever we discussed religion, when we were extremely close but not yet together, I used to tell him "Stop hating on Islam. You are Muslim." He used to hate all organized religions and how people exploit them, I agree with him to date :p And he has always believed in the Quran and in Prophet Muhammad as a Prophet. This made him Muslim in my book. He didn't pray regularly because he thought that a prayer shouldn't be ritualistic and would be closer in any date or time and said in our own way; he fought for alcohol – although he drank one beer every three months, but it's about the concept, says he. After we talked about our feelings and what we were going to do – it's ten times more of a cultural taboo in Lebanon to marry of another religion because of all the wars and all the uncivilized people (asshats, as you would put it) – I never once brought up religion as an issue. As in, it really wasn't. I made him swear that he would never ever do anything religion-related for me and that I would still love him if he stays exactly the same. Though I did pray to God extensively that he would embrace Islam completely, in practice and theory. And I was lucky enough for it to happen (though I didn't really expect it.. but how that happened would be a whole different story :p)Yeah, I'm kindof stalking you :o

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  4. I love stalkers! (When they're as awesome as you that is =P)Yes, in many cases they are even stronger! They don't have the convienence as we do to have simply been born into the religion. They searched for it and found it and shaped themselves to fit in it. More than most of us born Muslim ever make time to accomplish!Insha'Allah you'll be able to marry, and you'll have a beautiful life together. There seems to be much understanding between you already.

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