I think I’ve mentioned this in passing, but this claim is so pointless in the context in which it was made that it suggests an unjust underlying proposal, that I have to dedicate a post to emphasizing that it is wrong at its very premise: women do not have rape fantasies in which they are victims.
There is no such thing as a rape fantasy unless you are the attacker. Someone who is fantasizing about being “raped” is not fantasizing about being raped when he or she is clearly consenting to being in such a situation within the fantasy, and constructing the details of the situation. Similarly, you can fantasize about being dominant in a power struggle, but it’s not a rape fantasy if in the fantasy you know that your partner is in fact consenting. You are fantasizing that they are wanting it even as they say otherwise. Unless you are fantasizing about someone who is struggling against you and actually means no (in which case you’re a total disturbing ass) that is not a rape fantasy.
The term “rape fantasy” to describe a simple fabricated circumstance of no-means-yes is deeply problematic, and leads to all kinds of bullshit suggestions like this.
The only possible way there could be a rape fantasy ever is if the person in question is fantasizing about raping (and not being “raped”) and the victim is actually a victim in the fantasy. All other cases are not rape fantasies. No one asks to be raped. Ever.
This is just another way / excuse for people to water-down the word rape and escape all responsibility.