You have approached the end of the fatal feminist.

The past 5 years have been lively and wonderful, but I am nothing if not a woman of transformations. So with transformation ready at heart, I announce that I will no longer update the fatal feminist for the foreseeable future… or at all. It remains uncertain whether it’s closed permanently, but it is closed indefinitely. I may not return for several years, or I may not return.

Fragments of myself have gone unexplored for the past few years. I have, for example, a considerable interest in sci fi and fantasy that I’ve somewhat, though not entirely, neglected. There’s a fascination with music and parallel universes and foreign policy that I’ve grown dissatisfied for placing on hold. I’ve been focused on my religiosity and am ready to address my spirituality again. I’ve reached a point where I feel cleansed, as though I’ve just ventured through a tumultuous novel.

Over the 5 years that I’ve written here I’ve made and met lifelong friends, who live oceans away, whom I would have never known if it weren’t for writing at the fatal feminist, a possibility that grieves me. I would like to thank them now for emailing me and subsequently informing me that we would be great friends. Zeina and Khadeeja, specifically, you’re both glorious.

It’s not that I won’t write elsewhere. If I happen to produce a longer, detailed article, which, I occasionally will, I’ll find a website to post it. I’m not opposed to this, or to guest posts.

I’m going to write regularly on a different blog. This new one will be deeply personal and not political (except, of course, where those areas overlap). Those who know me understand I’m a very private person. I’m reluctant to share the location of what’s basically a journal, but if you email me personally, I might disclose the URL. We would have already had to have spoken several times for me to be comfortable with this. The new blog is closed to comments, because I won’t facilitate public discussions of the personal sphere, but as always, if you want to discuss an entry, you can email me privately. And again, I may return after many years—this website and I have unfinished business. =)

In lieu of my departure, I’ve checked all the links on the sidebar of this website, discarding those that are defunct. The links will keep you company in my maybe-permanent-certainly-indefinite absence. They are excellent resources for the mind, and therefore often also for the heart, because that’s how it works. (Subvert the dichotomy.) If you click a link and it leads you to a private website or one that isn’t there, it’s because I’m very good friends with the author, and have kept her work with nostalgia in the vain hopes that she’ll return.

Ramadan Kareem in advance, and in advance Eid Mubarak. That sounds more familiar than it should, doesn’t it? It’s the last time, inshaAllah. I wish you all the best. Please take care.

40 thoughts on “You have approached the end of the fatal feminist.

  1. SB

    Ouch!
    I have been a silent reader of all the words you write. I would miss your words very much. Good luck for the future. Hopefully, I stumble upon other works by you, as I stumbled upon this one. I hope you don’t delete this blog.

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  2. Same here, silent but happy reader of yours, your posts will be dearly missed … But I understand your move, and I’m actually planning on doing the same (and going back to Fantasy as well !).
    All the best on this new road !

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  3. Every blogger gets to decide what to do and we have to respect your decision. Good luck with your new location. Thanks for the enlightening posts you put up here.

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  4. Redda

    Aw well this sucks. Your writing was/is inspiring and your topics enlightening, so for that thank you! I’d ask for your new blog url but idk if a couple of comments now and then are sufficient qualifications :) Goodluck in your new venture! Onwards and upwards inshAllah xx

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  5. R

    Nahida, your posts have been a great source of peace and comfort for me personally.
    I would have loved to been able to read your new blog too, but thank you for your amazing, thought-provoking articles. It’s been a real joy Alhamdulillah :)

    The girl who emailed for Ramadan x

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    1. I remember you. =) I’d thought about you quite a few times after our exchange, actually, and had kept meaning to follow up. I hope your Ramadan went smoothly, and I hope this coming Ramadan is easy, comforting, and spiritually uplifting for you. I’ll send love your way.

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  6. Rita

    Hello Nahida, you don’t know me because I was a silent reader of the blog but I wanted to tell you that I will miss your posts. As an almost-revert (God willing) I found your blog in a moment when I was in a very bad place with Islam, just so many things I wouldn’t understand. When I read your blog I felt like God had opened a new door of understanding of faith for me, so I want to thank you for being here even if I never wrote you a comment.
    I hope I will be able to read something more from you someday.

    Rita

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    1. Rita! Your comment moved me so much. I hope you find many more open doors of understanding in the journey of your faith and in all other aspects of your life. You’re welcome of course to reach out to me if you ever want to talk. Please take care of yourself. xxx

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      1. Rita

        Hello again Nahida!
        I did end up writing you an email, but I don’t know if it worked coz I’m not sure my internet connection was working fine. The problem is I’m at a really weird place with faith right now and I could use talking with someone.

        I hope I find you in good health. Take care of yourself,

        Rita

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        1. Salaam Rita,

          I was not able to respond to you at the email you provided on the contact form. The email was returned to me. I used a different address from your comments instead. I hope it reaches you.

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  7. Danya

    Hi Nahida. I’m quite a young reader that has slowly been pushed by those around me to adopt conservative, occasionally sexist and often inaccurate – in my opinion – views that had tempted me to quit Islam altogether. I happened across one of your blogs when fuming about an claim someone had told me and searching for answers; ever since then I have been following your posts. I just wanted to say thank you. Your posts have made me look at, think about and formulate my own opinions about these views and how I wanted to follow my religion instead of how others claimed I should. I will miss reading your posts which have helped me greatly, as well as making me laugh and tempt me to burst into a round of applause whenever you slayed ridiculous arguments perfectly. If ever you return to this blog, I will most definitely read it. I think your brilliant! Thank you, you’ve been a bit of a role model to me!

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    1. Salaam Danya. A friend of mine related a hadith to me recently; it’s one of her favorites. On the Day of Judgment, as everyone is being assigned either Paradise or Hellfire, Allah (swt) decided that the sins of two individuals outweighed their good deeds, and sentenced them to Hell. As the two turned away, they announced, “We had expected better from You.” And Allah responded, “Since you expected better, here is a taste of my Mercy.”

      I think this is significant as to the meaning of faith. It is not just faith that God exists, but Who God Is. The mercy of God outweighs the existence of God.

      Faith in God translates to faith in goodness in all of its forms, because all forms of goodness derive from God. It means having faith that the spark of the Divine resides in all individuals, and that it will prevail in them. We always hear sentiments along the lines of, “Don’t have faith in things or people; have faith in God,” but this is what it means to have faith in God. It means to have faith that goodness will prevail. And that God intends—just as we do—to do good. So we should look for the best meaning—and that is why we are commanded to find, in our religious texts, the best meaning, of the text and of God.

      I would not change my decision just because someone expected better of me, unless I Loved them.

      I hope this helps you when your mind is clouded with doubt.

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  8. Sara

    Hey Nahida,
    It’s probably a little late but I am so very upset to hear about the end of fatal feminist but i undoubtedly support your decision to do what your heart pleases! I was going through your comments and though I generally disregard hadiths, I do from time to time take pleasure from reading the ones about that remind me of why I’m a muslim. The one you quoted really hit home since I’ve recently lost my kitten and have been grief stricken going out of my mind! I’ve said endless duas and prayed endlessly but three weeks later, to my dismay, no results.Your hadith acted as a reminder to God’s mercy and how my doubt in it and lack of patience affects my faith and perhaps why my kitten has yet to come home. My overall point is even after your last post you still provided me with knowledge (as your previous posts have done before) and I want to thank you for this. Best of luck with your new adventures and only blessings to come your way Inshallah.

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    1. Sara, I am so sorry to hear about your kitten, and humbled if I could offer any consolation at all. This upsets me and I really do hope that somehow your kitten returns home to you, and that wherever the kitten is in the meantime that it’s not too scared and that it’s eating well and staying warm.

      It isn’t your fault at all that your kitten hasn’t come home; you sound like you love it very much and that you’ve tried very hard, and that is the most you can do–and it isn’t insignificant. :) It is powerful and meaningful to love, even when the thing we love isn’t near us.

      Like

    1. I miss you too. I don’t know who you are, but people missing me makes me miss them. =P

      I have a Twitter associated with this website: @haraammermaids

      and an Instagram that’s personal (same handle) but I don’t update either very frequently.

      Like

  9. rosalindawijks

    Salamu alaykum sister,

    First of all, Ramadan Mubarak and Eid Mubarak in advance.
    I have read your blog for years with lots of joy, pleasure and admiration. I wish you all the best, and I hope to see you around on social media.

    Wa salam and Khuda Hafez/God bless,

    Rosalinda.

    Like

    1. Wa alaiykum assalaam Rosalinda, Ramadan mubarak! I’ll wish you Eid mubarak on fb. ;) Thank you so much for your kind words. I will miss your insightful comments.

      Like

  10. Hi Nahida :)

    So sorry to witness the end of an era…but I am glad I was here while the magic was alive. I sent you an email using the contact form, not sure if you still receive those. Please let me know if it works.

    Take good care ! <3

    Like

    1. Hi Alex,

      I do and I did! It just takes time for me to get back, but you’ll hear from me soon. Thank you so much for writing. I loved your email and will be responding.

      Like

  11. Salaam aleikum,
    Today i ran into your blog. I’m a converted muslim from belgium and my imaan is at its lowest for the moment. And than i start reading hour blog… today… when it seems that my life is empty… i dont do ramadan… im forbidden by the doctor… and beside i would not be able to do it when im in good health. Mqy i express my feelings? I hate ramadan…
    Before i did my prayers… not anymore…
    I read qur’an… not anymore…
    But today as i read your blog… i will take my qur’an and start reading… but i will read it differantly. Thats because of you…
    Sorry that you stop your blog… but there is lots of material that i can look into… thx for that.
    In the hope my imaan rises again, i greet you and wish you lots of luck in your life… ramadan kareem and eid mabrouk
    Xxx
    Malika

    Like

  12. Ousha

    Hello!
    Before you end the blog, there is an article that you NEED to add: it is about the prophetess Deborah and prophetess Huldah. They are women prophets who are mentioned in the previous scriptures. I suggest you search them up!

    So, say: “We believe in God, and in what was sent down to us and what was sent down to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes, and what was given to Moses and Jesus, and all the prophets by their Lord: We make no difference between one and another of them: And we bow to Allah (in Islam).” [2:136]

    Like

  13. Woman

    I miss you…

    I don’t know if you could ever answer this, but I just wanted to know how to get started growing closer to God, reading the quran and attaining spirituality?

    You have often used a poetic translation of the Quran before: where did you get it? Was it The Sublime Quran? Can I get a free online one?!

    Also, women, the poor, the ill, the disabled, the different (of race or other) are the most oppressed, so why does God talk to rich men? Why is her last message, her last guide, a dialogue, a conversation with men? Is it because they need it most – despite the evidence that they haven’t gotten any progressive from reading the Quran?

    Why didn’t she talk to us? We need it the most – we deserve it the most. Instead we now read the book of God in which he speaks to men and talks of us to men – your women, the women.

    Why did he do that? Why?

    Like

  14. bilqyce

    Hey Nahida I know this completely irrelevant to this post but I read your essay in the analize journal titled “unearthing the female legacy transgressive to the patriarchal social order” it was really enlightening and interesting. But you cited A Hadith about Umar not letting a woman marry because she did a certain thing with her male slave. Apparently this Hadith is weak (according to Ibn Kathir)
    (ref: http://www.altafsir.com/Tafasir.asp?tMadhNo=0&tTafsirNo=7&tSoraNo=23&tAyahNo=1&tDisplay=yes&Page=3&Size=1&LanguageId=1)

    Like

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