It’s inadequate that the most common identifier of an abused child is the child physically lashing out. This does not describe most. A child who has been abused is anxious for reassurance, agonizes in providing detailed explanations for their behavior, apologizes too many times. When I want to have a conversation with a child about what she has done and her impulse is to spiral into “I’m so sorry I’ll leave you alone I’ll never bother you again I’ll undo everything I’m so sorry I’ll fix it now and go away,” I am a filter away from asking who hits her.

3 thoughts on “Recognition

  1. Shybiker

    This is so true. My first partner, whom I still support, was abused as a child and she exhibited the latter behavior you describe.

    The former behavior is often a cultural myth used in media, especially films portraying revenge as their central narrative. Humans don’t normally react to abuse with vengeful violence. That’s fantasy.

    For this reason, I strongly object to fictional portrayals of 19th Century slavery in America where slaves are depicted as violent. When one’s will has been broken, the strength to fight back usually disappears.

    Liked by 1 person


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