Despite American fantasies about the anti-hero — characters who are morally ambiguous, flawed, or complex, who don’t fit the traditional mold of a “hero” and have no delusions of the hero complex — and how this fascination spans across all forms of media in its exploration of conflicting moral themes and cultural skepticism, most Americans fall short of fulfilling the role due to one crucial characteristic: the hyper-individualism that ensures they will never sacrifice their own interests for others.

I read a comment from a Palestinian about the notion of American soldiers coming to Gaza and supporting Israel in the genocide of Palestinians, along the lines of: “The Israelis are endangering the morality and the psyche of innocent Americans.” This was deeply telling. It was from someone who had seen the homes around them destroyed, watched children burn alive, sat atop rubble while missiles continued to drop. And they still cared deeply about the psychological well-being of a foreign soldier dragged into the occupation.

I have heard Muslim woman after Muslim woman express in tears that if she could vote against her own right to bodily autonomy if it meant a vote for a Palestinian woman’s right to merely exist and stay alive, she would do it. I have felt this sentiment searing its claws into my own heart. Of course, there is no vote in America that is a vote to stop genocide. I have historically always voted Green (and lost, of course) because of foreign policy. In California, I can. In this election, I voted for Harris. I could at least talk to Harris. We all know this. That’s why we were screaming at her to stop the genocide, and not at her opponent. Harris also knew this. She knew we had no where else to go. She abused that knowledge. The Democrats — because in the end, she only played the part — have abused that knowledge for years to hold us hostage. That’s why they never codified Roe. It was a differentiator as they moved more and more to the Right. They wanted to use it as leverage.

The suppression of issues that affect you in favor of issues that affect you and others is nothing new, and it’s not unique to women who have immigrated here and brought their community-first, family-first, individual-last mentality with them when casting their vote. It is also found in the descendants of women brought to America in chains against their will, who are told by men in their communities to suppress issues related to sexism in favor of issues related to racism, and told by white women to do the opposite. It is there, every time a Muslim woman is told to quiet down about domestic violence or sexual terrorism in favor of prioritizing the cause against Islamophobia. Both of these things affect her, but she is forced to choose the one that affects the privileged class: men. Whether she should (and she shouldn’t) is a different question. A valid question, that has its place.

But most Americans, save the ones who have felt oppression from multiple directions, have no concept of this. They vote for things that affect them and only them by prioritizing things like the economy — lower gas prices and grocery bills — while foolishly under the impression that this is actually what will happen.

We vote based in order of survival: life first (will someone die?), then bodily autonomy (can I control whether I have children?), then simple civil freedoms (can I marry whom I wish to marry?) and since this is exceptionally hard because these issues are entangled — for example, bodily autonomy is very much the question of will someone die and the absense of civil freedoms can lead to things like suicide and homicide through dehumanization — we attempt instead to categorize them based on immediacy and portions of control and agency: Yes, I may die from a pregnancy, but unless I’m raped I can control this just a little, just for now, compared to a woman blown to smithereens for merely existing in Gaza.

White Americans voting based on economic policies attempt to garner sympathy by centering their hardship, as though the rest of us do not also pay high prices of fuel and eggs. Whatever. I just eat less.