One of the parts of the Qur’an that I read, over and over, with fascination, is verses 15:28-50: the conversation between Iblis and Allah (swt) after the creation of the first human and the infamous refusal to acknowledge. I’ve read this in so many different ways through years, turning the verses over and over again in my head to examine through different lenses. When I was 5, the dialogue sounded like a preposterous, confusing argument. In my teens, it sounded like violent, angry defiance. Now, it sounds like a contract borne of heartbreak.

What strikes me reading this now is particularly the wording of verse 15:39, as the once-most-loved-Iblis responds, “You allowed me to stray,” then commits, “so I will surely tempt them (humans) on earth and mislead them (except Your chosen).”

You allowed me to stray.

These words now glow off the page. Is this a creature who threw a tantrum? Or one who felt a betrayal at a Love that expressed displeasure? Or one who simply accepted an assignment that was Divinely decided–decided the second Allah (swt) closed the creature’s heart, like the Quranic refrain in so many places? Was it free will? Did he decide I’m taking everyone down with me. Was it Predestined that he would not bow? Did he create his role, or did he simply accept, with a heavy heart, a role created for him when he was “allowed to stray”? Was he vowing to destroy all creation or simply reciting aloud an implied assignment?

When I was little I attended khutbahs in which imams claimed that Satan wanted to be the Creator (or worshipped as such), but another interesting part about this verse is the address: “My Lord, for allowing me to stray…” This recognition never wavers. And what about the agreement that follows, from God: “This is the Way, binding on Me”? Who was making the promise?

And why does it matter? In the practical sense, it doesn’t. It’s clear what we, as humans, are meant to do–the category of choices we’re meant to make. But it also suggests beautiful complications: Is this meant to relieve us of accountability that seems too heavy? Is it meant to remind us only God can save us? Is it meant to impart on us that we cannot judge others for “sins” because we do not know what Divine role they are playing? Was Satan’s acceptance of his role–rather than to prayer that his heart open again–in fact obedience? What is the meaning of serving Allah?