Men: My wife won’t let me come at her from the back. I like that sex position! If this isn’t permissible I am LEAVING ISLAM!
Solution: Alright, alright, you can enter her from the back–just don’t leave Islam and return to the obscene lifestyle you had before… You know, the one where you’d bury your infant daughters alive.
*verse making this sex position permissible is delivered*
Men: War? But how will I survive without sex for all these months? I’LL BE AWAY FROM MY WIFE AND I HAVE SEXUAL NEEEEDZ!!!
Solution: …Fine, you can have sex with other women while you’re at war, and it won’t count as adultery. But your wife can still totally divorce you.
*verse allowing men to have consensual sex with captives is delivered*
Men: Why does the Prophet get four wives? I WANT FOUR WIVES!
Solution: Okay… up to four wives for a man who can treat each of them equally. But only if you can treat them each equally! And only if they are widows who need your financial support! Also, if your first wife doesn’t like it, she can divorce you. For any reason, actually.
*verse allowing this is delivered*
Men: Women are so impatient. They complain all the time. And they try to change Islam!
I cannot bring myself to make the same threats they did, the first male converts, because I could never ever leave Islam–I can’t even think of leaving without feeling disgusted at the idea of being so petty, or imagine it at all–and I could never stop loving You or believing in You. But I will complain to You. Because that apparently is the fatal error that the women before me made–neglecting to complain enough to You or become frequently angry with You. Can You hear me, God? I’m sorry they were so patient and actually heeded Your word no matter what. I’m sorry they weren’t petty enough to attempt to argue with their Creator. I’m sorry they were willing to make sacrifices so that their frivolous men would accept the Divine Doctrine of their Lord.
*a minute later*
I understand that they were too grateful to You to complain. You freed them, after all, from the unspeakable evils men would commit upon them. Comparatively, their lives were a thousand times better. A million times better. I also realize that the way You’ve written the Qur’an, we are still protected in our rights, because You’ve placed strict limits and conditions on Your declarations according to situation. And that makes all the sense in the world.
You’re not the one hypocritically telling me to be patient. I’m sorry I was angry.
: This is an except from Zu hu ra
‘s blog (she’s fierce check her out), yet another example of patriarchy destroying women through modification of tradition and history:
It’s clear that Ghazzali interprets even hadith that support women’s rights through the lens of misogyny. For example he tells this story:
“When the son of Umar quoted the words of the Prophet, ‘Do not prevent the bondwoman of God from going to the mosques of God,’ one of his sons replied, ‘Yes, by God, we will prevent them.’ So he struck him and was irate with him, saying, ‘You will hear me say the Prophet of God said, ‘Do not prevent [them],’ and you say, ‘Yes [we will]?'” (101)
Muslim feminists quote this story in order to show that it is sunna for women to pray in the mosque. But Ghazzali reframes it this way:
“He dared to disagree because he knew that times had changed, and the father was angry with him for openly expressing disagreement without giving the reason.” (101)
This enables him to argue that, “The Prophet permitted women to go to the mosques; the appropriate thing now, however, is to prevent them [from doing so], except for the old ones.” (100)
But wait, I thought Muslim feminists were sinning by pointing out that there are restrictions and conditions in Islam that vary according to situation? But when men do it, it’s like totally okay. Because, Muslim men are like tewtally scholars who can make no incorrect interpretation.
After men managed to destroy Islamic civilization, they continue to twist the words of the Prophet to accommodate for their own insecurities–the exact same thing that led to the downfall of the Empire. And who do they blame instead? For that, and for earthquakes and tsunamis and every natural disaster? Women. “Scantily” dressed women. And gay people. And anyone else but them.