English idioms

Susan: Hey pot. This is kettle. You’re black. Pot and Kettle. What a pair we are!
Nahida: I want to be a pan.
Susan: . . . As long as you’re a black pan.
Nahida: No, no, a teapot. Why black?
Susan: Because the whole point, is that the pot is calling the kettle black. But teapots usually aren’t black.
Nahida: Why is the pot calling the kettle black?
Susan: . . . Because!
Nahida: I want be a champagne teapot with red roses and green leaves and a black border. And the tip of the cover will be blue with a purple brim.
Susan: . . . But that kills the point! Unless I’m somehow a kettle that is also. . . matching. And that doesn’t work. The kettle calling the teapot champagne with red roses and green leaves and a black border and the tip of the cover blue and the brim of the cover purple. . . that’s just too long.
Nahida: Can I at least have a big calligraphy-decorated letter N in orange at the bottom?


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